


Two Missions

by Deviant



Category: Naruto
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Smut, Topping from the Bottom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-11 05:27:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2055399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deviant/pseuds/Deviant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsunade must be trying to kill Hatake Kakashi, because she assigns him two missions with Umino Iruka.  In the first one Kakashi ends up wounded, immobile, and trapped in a cave with Iruka just barely keeping him alive.  The second one, well, he must be getting punished for something.</p>
<p>(Sort of AU.  Still takes place in the Naruto Universe, but doesn't follow or lineup with canon exactly)</p>
<p>((Mission 1 is written and Mission 2 is planned.  Beta readers and anyone who just wants to talk about the story and bounce ideas around are welcome to message me.  SERIOUSLY.  Don’t be shy.  I haven’t worked out all the kinks, so talking about this story with someone would be nice.  You don’t have to be good at grammar to beta, I mostly want someone who will point out instances where there’s not enough detail, or stuff doesn’t make sense, or where I have Kakashi or Iruka’s history wrong.))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mission 1:  Day 1 (Part 1)

**Author's Note:**

> Individual chapters have individual warnings, so please read them and please skip the stuff that squicks or triggers you!
> 
> Please message me if you'd like to beta/bounce ideas around/read the chapters before they are posted and offer feedback. That would be super helpful)

It had taken Kakashi a long time to master the art of waking up without appearing to wake up. Well, it felt like it took him a long time to figure it out, but he still managed to master it a lot faster than most ninjas. The hard thing had been learning to control his heart and breath rate even while sleepily rousing. Any change to his heart rate, faster breathing, anything, could alert an enemy that he was awake, and Kakashi didn’t want that.

Especially when Kakashi wasn’t entirely sure where he was.

He fought a groan as sensation started to come to him. The middle of his torso, beneath his chest but above his stomach, felt like it had been taken out by a hatchet. This seemed unlikely, and more like an exaggeration of the pain. His upper left thigh hurt too, worse, if possible. He could figure out what had happened to him later, right now he had to figure out where he was.

He could tell he was on a mat, the kind provided for missions, and underneath it there was cold, hard earth. The air was wet, but in a cool, dank way as opposed to a hot humid way. The air smelled stale and muddy, and he could hear the constant roar of water. He could make out the light footsteps of someone approaching, and though he could tell who it was based on smell alone, it was still a relief to feel the familiar chakra signature and hear the familiar voice.

“Kakashi-sensei?” it whispered.

Kakashi allowed his eye to open betraying himself. He was lying on his back and had a rather good view of a rocky ceiling. He heard a sigh of relief and tilted his head just slightly so that he could take in the sight of his companion.

“Iruka-sensei,” he said. It felt like his mouth was full of cotton balls. For a second the desire for water outweighed his desire to know where he was and what was going on.

As if reading his mind, Iruka produced a canteen and then hesitated. Kakashi carefully assessed his arms. It hurt to use the right one, but hurt more to use the left. Either way, sitting up on his own seemed impossible. Iruka once again read his mind and set the canteen down. He got down on one knee by the CopyNin. 

“I can lift you up so that your back is against the wall.” _‘Which will hurt a lot’_ was left unsaid.

Kakashi tucked his chin just a fraction. When Iruka hesitated he wondered if the teacher couldn’t see well enough in the dark or if he didn’t recognize his gesture for what it was, a go ahead. Iruka leaned over Kakashi and grabbed his ribcage. Kakashi didn’t flinch even if the teacher’s hands were dangerously close to his stomach wound. Iruka lifted his hands a little higher, under Kakashi’s armpits, and seemed to decide that a fast approach would be best, like ripping off a bandaid.

Kakashi didn’t scream, or cuss, or whimper, but he squeezed his one visible eye shut and fought the urge to vomit. Vomit what, he wasn’t sure, he didn’t think there could be anything in his stomach. He opened his eye and realized that the teacher was still kneeing as his side, looking at him with something that look suspiciously like pity, or maybe it was worry?

Kakashi let out a breath and tried to assess what he knew. Start with what he knew first hand to be true, then get Iruka’s version of events, and then speculate.

He was in a cave. The opening of which was guarded by a waterfall. He hated caves.

Iruka-sensei, the quick to anger Chuunin, was with him. They had been on a mission together.

He had been wounded, his stomach and thigh felt like they had been chewed open with a rusty saw. He was suffering from chakra depletion. He couldn’t gather any chakra to help ease his wounds. He could remember being attacked by missing nin on their way back to Konoha.

He was wounded, immobile, and trapped in a cave with Umino Iruka.

_‘Wonderful,’_ he thought dryly.


	2. Mission 1:  Day 1 (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may tweak the mission details a little bit later on, if I do I’ll edit the chapter and mention it in the AN so that anyone who wants to see the edits can go back and check them out.
> 
> This fic earns its explicit rating pretty fast. If you want a less explicit version you can check out the one I’ll post to fanfiction.net, although I’ll likely update this version first as this is the version I already have written, and it will take me a while to edit out the naughty bits without fucking up the story.
> 
> I’m still looking for a beta reader or someone who just wants to read ahead and let me know what they think, ;)

_Flashback: Kakashi receives his mission._

Kakashi dropped through the window and into the Hokage’s office. He looked around, somewhat disappointed that he hadn’t interrupted the Hokage. Tsunade was sitting on the edge of her desk, a beige scroll unrolled in her lap. The large desk was covered in scrolls, most of them decorated or in more interesting colors than beige. Those would have more ceremonial value, or were expected to last a great while. 

Tsunade waved her hand slightly, like she was shooing a fly. It was a vague gesture that Kakashi took to mean that she had to finish a train of thought but would be with him in a second. He looked away, bored, and thought he could see Tsunade’s personal betting scroll peaking out of a desk drawer. Now that would be fun to get his hands on and see what sort of bets she had going. Maybe if he-

“I have a mission for you,” Tsunade’s voice cut through the room.

Kakashi looked at her, his hands in his pockets, trying to appear disinterested even though he was itching to get a mission. Not that he didn’t mind training Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura. They were always improving, and together they were easily a match for him. But Kakashi was starting to wonder if he was being retired without his knowledge. His students were Chuunin now, and didn’t officially, technically need him. The Hokage always complained about being short on ninja, and yet she consistently shot down the suggestion to reinstate him as ANBU. Kakashi was starting to wonder if he was being put on ice, or just a glorified babysitter for the Nine-Tails host Naruto and the ex-traitor Sasuke.

“Most of the Jounin are tied up, so I’m sending you with a Chuunin,” Tsunade continued, watching him with her eyes narrowed.

Kakashi narrowed his eye at her. He thought of the Chuunin he knew. It couldn’t be Naruto because the council had him under temporary village arrest, a result of his rather impressive, and dangerous, display of demon chakra on his last mission. Something about the seal, and dangerous, and letting the Kyuubi loose, and blah blah blah. Sasuke was under a temporary village arrest, although it was a more subtle “we aren’t going to give you any mission above a B rank, or which takes you too far from the village, or which doesn’t have an appropriate chaperone.”

The two frequently complained about the C and D-rank missions they were getting saddled with. It didn’t seem to occur to them that as their unofficial Jounin instructor, Kakashi was being unfairly suffocated with mundane genin appropriate missions and constant fights between Sasuke and Naruto.

There was a brief glimmer of hope as Kakashi wondered if Sakura would be the Chuunin accompanying him. That hope soured rather quickly though. If he was getting the details of the mission alone, without the Chuunin there, it was likely because Tsunade felt she needed to warn him, or give him the opportunity to complain without the Chuunin there to witness his reaction.

“I need Sakura here,” Tsunade added. If she really did need Sakura for something, she didn’t offer what for.

So it was a Chuunin, and Tsunade didn’t think he was going to be happy. Kakashi thought of the rookie nine, all of whom were Chuunin now, on their way to becoming Jounin. He didn’t see what would be so bad about being stuck with Hinata, or Chouji, or Shino. Sure, he didn’t know them, but it was a mission. He could be professional.

“The Chuunin is Umino Iruka,” Tsunade finally offered.

Kakashi figured he could still be professional with the man, even if most of his interaction with Umino Iruka was limited to the man yelling at him for his mission reports.

“Okay, so who else?” Kakashi asked. There should be two more ninja assigned in order to make the typical four person cell.

“No one, it’s just you two,” Tsunade’s mouth quirked up a little bit.

Kakashi wanted to tell her no. He wanted to ask her if the village had suddenly run so out of capable ninja that she felt like she could halve the team. Two people missions weren’t unheard of, but Tsunade made it sound as though she had no choice. As if she wanted to put another Jounin on it but couldn’t. He considered making a joke about how he wasn’t sure Iruka-sensei could even remember the last mission he had been on, since it had likely been so long ago. It would have been meant more to ruffle Tsunade’s feathers rather than an actual slam aimed at Iruka. He didn’t say anything though, since it was unlikely that anything he could have said would have swayed Tsunade anyways. Well, that and Tsunade looked like she would enjoy fighting him on this one.

“What’s the mission?” he finally asked, taking the Hokage by surprise.

Tsunade rolled up the scroll in her lap. “You deliver this scroll to the Kage of Mist. She gives you a scroll, and you bring it back to me. Easy enough.”

And it would be easy enough, if Mist wasn’t struggling to control their missing Nin population, or if Kakashi was assigned to work with a four person cell. Or at least a Jounin. And he wasn’t trying to be unfairly critical. He didn’t really know enough about Iruka to be critical, but from what he knew of the Chuunin, Iruka-sensei didn’t take many missions, and Kakashi had never heard of him sparring or training with anyone, and honestly, the Chuunin practically lived behind a desk. That didn’t mean that he was incapable, but it also wasn’t a raving indication that he could handle an A rank delivery mission to a dangerous nation with an incomplete cell.

Kakashi wondered if it would be worth it to passively suggest she wait a day or two until a Jounin became free. “Give me the mission details.”

***

“You’re not injured,” Kakashi said. It wasn’t really a question, but Iruka responded like it was.

“No, not really. I took a kick to the chest, and fell a few times while carrying you, but mostly I’m just suffering from Chakra depletion,” Iruka said.

‘You and me both,’ Kakashi thought.

Kakashi was sitting upright against the cave wall. There would be no more lying on his back. It would be easier to change his bandages if he was already upright, and he would be able to defend himself better if they were found. Kakashi tried not to sigh bitterly. The cave they were in was large, with a high ceiling. Though it was dark, Kakashi could tell that there was no exit towards the back of the cave. A hideout with only one entrance was easier to defend, but harder to escape from if they were surrounded. The cave didn’t seem all that discreet at all, though Iruka assured him that you couldn’t tell there was a cave behind the waterfall from the other side. Kakashi had his doubts though. A large cave like this probably wasn’t a secret.

When he pointed as much out to Iruka, the other man let out a harsh breath, and asked Kakashi if he’d rather take his chances out there. Responding with ‘it’s not my fault you picked a shitty place to hide out’ seemed somewhat… harsh, considering that the other man had had to find a place to hide quickly before Kakashi died from blood loss.

“I mostly stay away from hand to hand combat,” Iruka offered, “although my taijutsu isn’t bad.”

Kakashi nodded. He knew this much about the man. The Chuunin seemed to be able to think under pressure, and relied on planning, deception, and stealth to take on adversaries. 

“I’m surprised you’re awake to be honest,” Iruka said. Quickly he added, “I’m relieved! With all the blood loss I wasn’t sure…”

Kakashi was mildly impressed that he was awake. He was certainly struggling. The blood loss made him feel lightheaded and like he would feint at a moment’s notice. Still, it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. If his body had its way he would fall under again. 

The academy instructor was sitting against the far wall of the cave, his legs extended in front of him. Kakashi tried not to stare at the way the Chuunin tapped his foot restlessly. Iruka was also constantly shifting, tucking his legs, untucking them, standing, stretching, sitting. At first Kakashi thought that it was from the discomfort of not having a mat to sit on on the hard cave floor (they had lost one of their packs in the struggle), but he quickly realized that Iruka was just a restless person. A fidgety, loud, restless person.

Iruka looked down at his foot as if realizing what he was doing, and Kakashi used the opportunity to take a sip from the canteen. It was difficult, and painful, but he managed to pull his mask down with the same hand holding the canteen, take a sip, and pull his mask up before Iruka realized what he was doing.

Not that Iruka had done or said anything to suggest that he was curious about Kakashi’s face, but Kakashi knew how other nin got when they realized he wasn’t going to take his mask off. Nope, not even if the other man had managed to save his life.

Not that the other man seemed to care about catching a glimpse of his face.

Kakashi mentally went over the list of supplies they had knowing he would likely fall asleep before he made it through the list fully. It seemed better than watching Iruka fidget. It was definitely better than reliving the memory of the battle and trying to figure out how he had ended up half dead with an academy instructor keeping him alive.

***

Kakashi awoke to find himself alone in the cave. His stomach turned slightly as he wondered what the other ninja was up to. Kakashi had slept a lot the past day, but when he woke up it was usually because of the way Iruka restlessly moved about the cave. The man paced, frequently. He took to going through the pack, counting and recounting their supplies. A few times Kakashi looked over and found Iruka redoing his pony tail. The less than clean hair would come down, and Iruka would push his hands through it, and try to undo imagined tangles, and then he would put it back up in the signature ponytail. Each new ponytail had looked worse than the last one, but that didn’t stop Iruka.

Kakashi thought he had figured Iruka out. Iruka was chronically overreacting to adrenalin. While most ninja got used to adrenaline, the way it would hit hard and fizzle out slowly, Iruka seemed oddly susceptible to it. It was like he couldn’t ignore the adrenaline in his veins, couldn’t push it down, and instead he ended up giving into it. The adrenalin told Iruka he had to do something, had to be in constant action. There wasn’t a lot to do in the cave though, so it manifested itself in surprising ways.

If Kakashi were capable, he would have knocked the other man out by now. That at least would seem merciful. But Kakashi was in no position to move, let alone defend their cave. He had tried once, unsuccessfully, to point out to the other ninja that fidgeting wasn’t very ninja like.

“Iruka-sensei,” he had said.

“Mmn?” The other responded.

“You’re making too much noise. Stop fidgeting so much.”

The Chuunin apparently didn’t like being told off though, because he leveled a glare at Kakashi. “That waterfall is so loud, no one can hear me.”

“I can,” Kakashi said simply. He didn’t even think it was that rude, but Iruka just rolled his eyes, said “sorry” in a way that left no doubt that he wasn’t sorry at all, and said he was going to go see if any of his snares had caught anything.

Kakashi realized after that incident that making Iruka angry just increased his urge to do something. Kakashi tried not to talk to the other man, not entirely certain why every other thing he said frustrated the man. Plus, he wasn’t entirely sure he trusted that the instructor wouldn’t snap and yell at him, which would risk betraying their location. The instructor could get pretty loud.

So when he woke up alone, he resolved not to tell the other man off. At least not overly harshly. Seriously. If Iruka had to get more food or check his snares or maintain the perimeter around their cave, he could do it while Kakashi was awake. At least then Kakashi wouldn’t be totally defenseless in their dank hellhole. Waking up alone though, realizing that he could have been found and would have been sleeping under the false assumption that Iruka was keeping watch made him want to tie the man down. Yes, if the teacher’s feet and hands were tied together he wouldn’t be able to pace or abandon Kakashi to fend for himself. 

Not that Kakashi was completely defenseless, but he was certainly vulnerable.

Kakashi heard familiar footsteps on the rocks outside the cave, and watched the opening of the cave for Iruka’s return. Sure enough, the brown haired ninja stepped into view.

Iruka seemed to freeze when he realized Kakashi was awake. Kakashi hoped for a moment that the other ninja realized his error and was hesitating to see if the CopyNin was going to call him out again. Well, so long as he realized his mistake Kakashi didn’t see much reason to get into a fight over-

_‘Oh.’_

Kakashi worried for a second that his senses were playing tricks on him. That perhaps the smell of blood, and sweat, and cave were corrupting his ability to smell. Iruka walked to his spot on the other side of the cave, across from Kakashi, but his movement made the smell more distinct. No, Kakashi’s nose wasn’t playing tricks on him. Iruka really did smell like semen. Cum, jizz, whatever.

Kakashi wanted to glare at the man, but thought it would save them both a great deal of embarrassment if he just pretended like he was bored, like he hadn’t noticed.

In the wake of this discovery he forgot to tell the Chuunin not to sneak out while he was sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am always happy to hear from readers, so don't by shy! Feel free to reach out to me if you wanna say something about the fic, the characters/manga, the ship, whatever, :)


	3. Mission 1:  Day 2 (Part 3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for chapter: male solo masturbation, fight scenes, mentions barebacking.
> 
> Bah. I originally planned to have the ambush scene in this chap as a nice little flashback and then be (kinda) done with it. Then the fight scene got longer. Then I stopped wanting to write it because I dislike writing fight scenes and struggle with visualizing/developing the scene… but it has been an ungodly amount of time since my last upload, so I’m putting this up and resolving to solve this problem at a later date… so yeah… help?

_Flashback: The Battle_

Iruka didn’t even notice the missing nin approaching. They were on their way back to Konoha, in one of the countries bordering the Land of Fire, and he was pretty satisfied with how the mission was going. He knew better than to consider a mission complete before it was actually finished, but they had delivered the scroll, and picked up a second one just as they were instructed to. They were only three days away from Konoha. 

Iruka should have noticed the missing nin closing in, especially since he was taking up the rear and they were approaching from behind, but it was Kakashi who had stopped suddenly. Iruka had been planning on landing on the branch that Kakashi stopped on. The Chuunin forced himself to twist slightly midair so that he would land beside the CopyNin. He was about to ask the Jounin what was wrong, but Kakashi slapped a gloved hand over his mouth to silence him.

It had been hard to fight the urge to deck the silver-haired man. Iruka twisted away from his hand, but kept silent. Part of him wanted to yell at the man, the other had a sinking feeling that they might be in trouble.

“Incoming,” Kakashi said.

Suddenly the urge to yell at the Jounin vanished, and Iruka leaned into him so that they could whisper in hushed tones. Kakashi seemed to think better of that though, and quickly made the hand signal for ‘understand?’ Iruka signed a quick ‘yes’ and resolved to be offended later. Of course he knew Leaf Shinobi Signing, he was a ninja after all.

‘Six ninja. Two weak chakra, three average, one impressive,’ Kakashi signed.

Iruka nodded, and hoped the man was watching him with his peripheral vision because he certainly wasn’t looking at him.

‘Start with the weakest, work your way up.’

Iruka couldn’t be offended. Six was a lot. Getting himself killed going after the strongest one would just be foolish. Still, a part of him worried that the CopyNin thought he was that foolish.

‘We try to outrun them, but if they catch up we play to our strengths,’ Kakashi signed and then leapt from the branch with speed he hadn’t used yet on the mission. 

Iruka interpreted that as code for “I don’t really know how to fight with you, so let’s both just do our own thing and hope for the best” and then he scrambled to follow the other ninja. He had never been fast, but now he felt slow in comparison to the other man. Iruka’s heart raced, but he stifled it quickly. He had to try to tap into any speed he had. He surged ahead, even with the knowledge that his fastest was slowing down his teammate.

The first thing Iruka would do if it came down to fighting would be to abandon his pack. Iruka was strong, but the pack would hinder his ability to crouch and disappear in the trees.

Iruka’s grip on a tree slipped ever so slightly when he could finally sense the chakra of their pursuers. He thought he saw the CopyNin quickly glance back, but wasn’t certain. Still, the closer they got back to Konoha, the better their chances.

Of course the second thing he would do would be to disappear out of sight. Then he had to rely on what he was good at, hiding, sneak attacks, explosives. He could probably manage a few clones if absolutely necessary.

Iruka’s senses seemed to sing to him and he shifted to the left just slightly as a kunai hurled past his shoulder. He grimaced slightly and disappeared into the trees as he dropped his pack. Trusting that Kakashi could live up to his name, he took off to the side in hopes that he could divide the party of missing nin.

*****

“It’s really not that bad,” Iruka found himself saying. He thought it would be comforting, but he wondered if maybe he had said it one too many times and was betraying the fact that he really wasn’t sure if the wound was not that bad, or too bad, or bad enough, or just barely bad.

Iruka looked at Kakashi’s grey eye even as the other ninja looked away. Yeah, maybe Iruka had said it one too many times. He looked down at the sword wound that bisected Kakashi’s torso. It started below his left pec, travelled down and across, and ended a few inches below his right pec. It was silly, but Iruka didn’t know what to call it. It seemed too low to be a chest wound, and yet too high to be a stomach wound. For the first time Iruka found himself somewhat frustrated by his lack of mid-torso-ish anatomy.

Iruka sighed. The wound wasn’t terribly deep, but the skin gaped slightly. It reminded Iruka of some of his own wounds, but he’d never been injured like this with such few resources. Okay, they had some gauze left, and Iruka could rewrap the wounds in the same bandages because the bandages hadn’t actually gotten soaked through with any gunk. Plus, the bandages were just to hold the gauze in place. Kakashi would be fine. Iruka had great first aid skills.

First aid skills were sort of a necessity if you wanted to be a teacher to a bunch of naughty pre-genin.

And when they ran out of gauze, well if they ran out of gauze (they could be rescued soon), he had cleaned one of his shirts to the best of his ability and would use that. And hopefully they would have recovered enough chakra that Kakashi could fight off any infection he might get from using Iruka’s shirt as wound dressing.

Iruka scooped some wound ointment onto his fingers and winced as he pushed his fingers to Kakashi’s wound. “The ointment is helping,” he offered.

“It’s intended for scratches and shuriken wounds, not being split open with a sword,” Kakashi’s voice betrayed his calm demeanor. The way he held his breath, yep, the wound hurt even if he never complained.

Iruka tried not to roll his eyes and instead settled for clenching his jaw. Honestly, the Jounin liked to pretend like he was so detached and rational, and yet “split open with a sword” was a bit dramatic. Iruka had seen Hayate do way worse to a person.

“Yes, well, you’ll have to thank Sakura-chan when we get back to Konoha,” Iruka added. He would have to make a point to catch up with Sakura too. Her medical knowledge had progressed and she would enjoy getting an opportunity to brag.

Iruka looked up to find that grey eye looking at him funny, and then that grey eye shifted to look down at the gentle circles Iruka was drawing. He was massaging the ointment into the wound the same way he would if one of his younger students had been injured. He wondered if that was why the CopyNin was looking at him. He may not be a member of the Hatake Kakashi fanclub, but that didn’t mean he was going to go out of his way to hurt the man either. He wondered for a brief moment how many instances Kakashi had allowed himself to be taken care of by another teammate. On those rare instances did they just slap the ointment on him without much care?

“Naruto will be happy to see you,” Kakashi offered.

Iruka let the tightness in his jaw fall away and smiled. “Yeah, he’ll be happy to see us both.”

“He was jealous,” Kakashi said. Realizing that wasn’t enough he added, “he’s tired of D and C ranked missions.”

Iruka thought about this for a moment as he shifted and reached to open a package of sterile gauze. “He’ll be jealous that we got a mission, but Sasuke-kun will be jealous that we got ambushed. He thinks getting ambushed is a fun training exercise.”

Kakashi laughed, and Iruka tried not to be too pleased with himself for making the serious man laugh. Kakashi moaned quietly as he learned that laughing was painful. Iruka pressed the gauze to his wound and waited to see if the other man would keep the conversation going.

“I can’t wait for them to find out that you saved me. They’ll never let me forget it.” If Kakashi thought this comment was inappropriate, he didn’t show it.

Perhaps Iruka pressed the gauze to the wound a little too harshly. “Yeah, well, when people start teasing the great Sharingan Kakashi for needing to be saved by a mere Chuunin, feel free to tell them that our fighting styles sort of dictated that.”

Kakashi didn’t say anything. Iruka could picture it now, the jokes about how the weak desk rider Umino Iruka came to the rescue of the great Hatake Kakashi. It would be meant to tease Kakashi, but it would be more offensive to Iruka.

Iruka realized Kakashi still hadn’t said anything and felt like he needed to break the silence, which now felt awkward with all the wounded pride in the air. “You know, you fought them in face-to-face combat and took some blows. I kept my distance and used explosive tags and trickery and traps. That’s all.”

“Mmn,” the CopyNin offered, somewhat saving Iruka from feeling like he had to keep speaking.

Iruka reached for the bandages and started wrapping Kakashi’s wound. It was awkward, and slow, because he practically had to give Kakashi a hug as he passed the role of bandages behind his back. Was it three times now that he had done this? Sometimes Iruka messed up the wrapping and had to redo it, but no matter how long it took it was usually done in silence.

Apparently Kakashi thought the time would go by faster if they kept talking. “What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get back to Konoha? Other than the usual.”

Iruka thought about it for a moment, other than reporting to the Hokage, getting medically cleared, and taking a shower? Well he could really use a fucking. Iruka blushed. He almost laughed as he imagined telling Kakashi that the first thing he was going to do was get laid. Yeah, no, he would sooner roll around on an ant farm than talk to Kakashi about his sex life. “Eat ramen with Naruto. It’s tradition, sort of, I mean usually I take him out when he gets back from a mission, but now it will be reversed.” Iruka felt a glimmer of hope. “Maybe he’ll even pay.”

Iruka looked up at Kakashi’s face and almost laughed. It was hard to read the fraction of his face that was visible, but it clearly looked doubtful. “Okay, okay, maybe Naruto won’t pay.” The blonde would occasionally pay, especially if he wanted to convey to Iruka that he was an adult, but his bank account was likely suffering while he was under village arrest.

“What about you, Kakashi-sensei?” Iruka asked. He ran his hand over the bandages so far to make sure they were smooth and snug.

“Why, I’m going to thank Sakura-chan of course. What else?”

Iruka looked up at Kakashi’s eye to see that it was curved like a rainbow. He wondered if Kakashi bothered to fake a smile under that mask or if he only faked it on the visible parts of his face. Iruka hesitated, he couldn’t tell if Kakashi was making fun of him or not.

“After all,” Kakashi continued, “Iruka-sensei ordered me to.”

Yep, definitely making fun of him.

*****

_Flashback: The Battle Continued_

Iruka had been followed by two of the missing nin when he took off to the left. He didn’t have speed on his side, but his chakra control was excellent, and so he hid behind a tree and quickly set a snare with some wire even as the two missing nin leapt by him. The snare wasn’t perfect, but it would buy Iruka some time. He then took off a little farther from where he had left Kakashi and hoped he would end up more to the right of the two nin that were supposed to be following him.

Time to set some explosive tags. He would use Sealed Bomb Square Release and lure one into the center of the four explosive tags and trap him there. If the ninja moved he would be blown to bits. That would solve at least one of his problems, and then he’d just lure the other one to where the snare was positioned. Yeah, see? Easy.

Iruka was about to round a tree, but pulled himself back just before revealing himself to the two ninja. The two ninja had apparently jumped down from the trees and were standing on the ground. One of them had an impressive number of shuriken, kunai, and throwing knives, and Iruka almost sighed with relief. If that was the best this ninja had then Iruka could definitely take him on. Years of dodging weapons flung by eager pre-genin had taught him well. He could dodge, catch, and deflect better than most

The other ninja had a rather impressive amount of body armor though, and a huge sword that must take a great deal of strength to lift. Iruka resolved to take out the ninja with the throwing knives first, using the explosive tags. He hoped that the sword wielding man would be slower in his pursuit of him, and wouldn’t be able to take him out at a great distance. A sword was the weapon of someone who fought close up and personal. So long as Iruka was out of reach, he would be okay.

Iruka angled away from the missing nin and found a clearing a little ways away at ground level. It was easy enough to set the exploding tags, but Iruka’s heart sank when he just barely dodged a throwing knife aimed at his head. He had been discovered, and sooner than he wanted to be. He ducked behind a tree and created a clone which quickly ran up ahead.

“There he is!” shouted the missing nin with the sword, and Iruka was relieved to find that he was right. The man with the sword was slow, and it was the one with the throwing knives that charged quickly when he saw Iruka’s clone up ahead. Iruka watched with satisfaction as his clone dodged a knife.

Just a little farther and he’d have the ninja with the throwing knives exactly where he wanted him.

Now!

Iruka grimaced as he watched realization spread across the missing nin’s face. He could tell from the way those dark green eyes panicked that he knew what he had gotten himself into. Staying still meant he would live, but was captured by Leaf Shinobi. Moving meant death.

Iruka didn’t wait to see what he would do. He saw the sword nin slow, cussing under his breath. The sword nin caught sight of Iruka’s clone as it took off into the trees and the sword nin followed after him. Dividing the two missing nin up and dealing with them separately would have been best, but working quickly had seemed more important. The sword nin kept glancing at the trees, now looking for exploding tags. Iruka’s snare though was lying on a branch where he hoped the sword nin would land, so long as the ninja kept looking around at shoulder height, he would miss what was at his feet.

Iruka bit his cheek when he saw a branch shake under the weight of nin. The branch Iruka had selected was plenty thick, but he wondered if his snare made of wire would be enough to hold the man while Iruka killed him, or somehow convinced him to surrender. 

Iruka didn’t want to kill anyone. Capture was always his first priority; it was why he fought the way he did.

Iruka could hear the man shouting taunts at his clone, even as he got closer and closer to his own demise.

And then the missing nin stepped right into that snare, and the wire tightened around his ankle. He noticed it too late and had already tried to leap from the branch, but was held tight as his body plummeted. He hung upside-down, his ankle tied to the branch. Iruka’s clone shouted, “surrender!” but the missing nin reached up with his sword to cut the wire.

Iruka didn’t hesitate. He sent a kunai flying and it found its mark. It sliced through the side of the nin’s exposed neck, blood pouring from the artery there. Iruka’s clone hurled a kunai, and it buried itself deep into the nin’s neck.

Iruka and his clone took off. His clone was out of sight, moving in the same direction, but a ways off to Iruka’s right. Two missing nin down, four to go. He had to try and get back to where he had left Kakashi with the rest of their enemies.

_Poof!_

Iruka flinched. Someone had killed his clones. The clone’s memories came pouring in; a missing nin with great strength had thrown him headlong into a tree-

Iruka felt like he couldn’t breathe. He hadn’t even seen it coming, the kick that hit him square in the chest and sent him tumbling to the forest floor. He hadn’t been kicked that hard in years, and it happened so fast. He couldn’t twist to the side, or pick himself up right away. He hesitated there, unable to breathe, on the ground.

Iruka caught a glimpse of the ninja as he closed in on him, tan skin and bald head, shirtless. It seemed cruel that the last thing he would see would be this hideous traitor who could kick like a motherfucker.

But that missing nin suddenly leapt away as Kakashi crashed into the clearing. Iruka found his strength and leapt to his feet. He no longer wanted to take to the trees, fearing he would be caught by the super strong nin. Iruka had to stay out of Kakashi’s way though, as he was fighting a fast sword nin with just a kunai. Iruka grimly thought that the fast sword nin wasn’t giving Kakashi any opening to use ninjutsu, but Iruka could hardly spare Kakashi’s bout a second glance. 

Iruka also had to lure the taijutsu user away from Kakashi. It would be too easy for the taijutsu user and sword nin to team up on Kakashi and kill him, and then try to finish off the less noteworthy Iruka. Iruka armed himself with a kunai. The ninja had to get close to land a hit, but Iruka was certain he could land a few himself.

*****

Iruka tried to keep his body in check, honestly he did. It was easier when there was something to do, like check food snares (which had yielded two squirrels and one rabbit), checking the snares set up to alert him if someone crossed the perimeter he had designated, or gathering edible vegetation. He had a fishing trap set up, but it hadn’t yielded much. Maybe the location was bad and moving it would help.

Okay, so he planned on doing more than moving the trap.

He wondered if adrenalin had always had this effect on him, making him antsy and in extreme cases giving him a hard on. He couldn’t remember anything telling before his genin team days. Then, what he did remember was training and fighting alongside Anko and Hayate. He could remember getting frustrated, yelling, not thinking clearly, and charging ahead trying to fight with a brute force he didn’t have. Then after it was over he would be all riled up, heart pounding, blood in his face, muscles humming, feet jumpy…

Okay, so maybe he had always had a hard time coming down from an adrenaline rush.

Which sure as shit explained some of the people he fucked and why he liked them.

It was like he felt his entire being was a slingshot, and the adrenaline was pulling him tighter and tighter, making him want to snap, let go, burst into action.

And since he apparently had a nonstop supply of adrenalin, it seemed like the only release would be to jerk off a little. His climax would give him a breather. His body could be flushed with feel good hormones and his muscles would finally go slack and he would feel sated and still.

He justified it to himself. He had carried Kakashi a surprising distance from where the fight had taken place, and he had covered his tracks, and the only living missing nin had retreated and maybe that missing nin had given up and wasn’t even coming for them with reinforcements.

That, and Iruka was tired of Kakashi shooting him looks that seemed to say “how the hell did you become a ninja?”

He had already jerked off once and Kakashi either didn’t say anything or didn’t notice.

So that was how he found himself in a cluster fuck of trees, obscuring himself as much as possible, still pretty certain he couldn’t be seen, with his hand in his pants. His fist was wrapped tightly around his dick, and he could feel the bark of the tree scratching against his ass where his pants were pulled too low. If he could have it his way he’d be plucking at his nipples, a slick finger circling his asshole. This wasn’t about teasing himself though, this was about a quick release.

There was a sort of unspoken method to getting off in dangerous situations. If you could get off while being fully conscious in the moment, great, but Iruka needed to use his imagination just a little. So he imagined scenarios that allowed him to get off while keeping as much of his senses heightened.

Imagining himself home in bed was a sure way for Iruka’s senses to diminish. He’d get lulled into a false sense of security.

So instead he imagined he was in the Land of Sand. He was on some sort of diplomatic mission, escorting somebody or carrying a scroll, accompanied by other ninja from Leaf and Sand. A tall, tan Sand Jounin had lured him away from the group. Whispering in Iruka’s ear, slipping his hand under his shirt, his tongue darting out to lick his jaw.

Iruka tightened his grip on his cock, his head tilting back. He moved his hips so that he could fuck his fist. Moans tumbled out of his mouth between pants. He dug the fingertips of his other hand into his thigh and squeezed as hard as he could.

The Sand Jounin told him to be quiet and wrapped his hand over Iruka’s mouth. They didn’t want to be caught by the other ninja on the mission. That would be uncomfortable for both of them.

Iruka didn’t let any more moans out. He swiped his thumb over the head of his cock, toying with the slit and feeling like he was about to lose himself in the sharp sensation.

Yes, this Jounin was going to push him up against a boulder and fuck him fast, fuck him hard until his ass was properly stretched and tortured him for the rest of the journey. Fuck him until he was full, sweat running down his body, feeling that wonderful sensation of being pounded into. Oh god, and that Sand Nin would tell him how slutty and perfect he was, and how he’d love to hear Iruka beg but knew that he would be too loud. He knew Iruka’s moans would turn into gasps and screams, and then wouldn’t that get them in trouble when the rest of their team came running and saw sweet Iruka taking a fat cock into his tiny hole?

That was all it took, Iruka shook his dick and came into his hand. A couple more tight pumps to carry himself through his climax, and then he was struggling to remain upright. He took in a few shaky breaths. So he had to wash the pool of jizz in his hand off in the river, so what? It was a small price to pay to feel like he could finally breathe.


End file.
